Hi I'm Sheri, I'm 40 years old & I'm a recovering people pleaser!
Seriously, it's my thing, but as my husband says to me often, "Who cares what other people think."
Easier said than done when you've spent your whole life trying to please others, making the "right" decisions & not because they asked any of this of you, but because you have placed an unnecessary expectation on yourself to do ALL the things & BE all the things for EVERYONE, except of course for YOURSELF!!! (input angry emoji).
So, yes I've been a people pleaser, but that's not what I want to share with you. Simply because if you're a people pleaser, then you know you're one. You know the drill, you know the feelings, you already know the cost.
What I want to share is my healing journey around it. How I moved through it & the practice that I use when I find myself having an internal conflict. Especially when I find myself worrying about what others may be thinking about decisions that I have made.
Here's the truth, the healing FELT like shit! Period.
It hurt, I cried several tears, felt victimized more than I felt powerful, and gave more excuses to myself than solutions. It felt like crawling deep inside, hiding away & suffocating all of the desire & feelings that I had held within myself.
Until I just couldn't any longer. I needed to find air, to breathe & create space within myself. I started to dive deeper into my healing work & trust the sensations of my pain & suffering. I quieted my mind & listened to my heart. I had to hear what my soul was asking of me & what I heard was that I was enough. I AM ENOUGH.
I heard it little by little. The voice within me asking myself questions, "Is this true?" "Are the feelings right?" "Is the feeling mine?" "Do I care?" "What do I WANT to do?" and "Can I TRUST myself?"
And with each question, the voice becoming a little louder, I began to trust myself more. I felt more spacious in my body & created awareness in my mind to see when I was suffering from fear, anxiety, & worry. I learned to speak my body language & listen to the wisdom that my heart had to offer.
Today, I still find myself having internal conflicts from time to time, worrying about what others might think, and trying to make sure everyone is happy, but when I recognize this I PAUSE, BREATHE, LISTEN, and then DECIDE.
One powerful truth that I have learned along my way is that how others feel about my decisions is not my issue. It's theirs & I'm able to see it with compassion, rather than defense. I simply get to choose how to respond & because I now know what my certainty & truth feels like in my body. I know when it's aligned & when it is not.
So while the healing hurt, it's resulted in the most beautiful gift I could have given myself, Freedom. I share this because I believe it's available for you too!